impostor syndrome as a black woman
Black women are excelling in sectors across the board—from designing LeBron James’ newest sneaker, to running countries, to winning championships—and, ultimately, changing the world. Yet, even after turning their passion projects and side hustles into companies, many African American women entrepreneurs are subjected to the same racial and gender-based biases that propelled them to leave traditional workplace settings in the first place. All of the above has affected me throughout my career. However, I struggled with imposter syndrome the most. For those who are not too familiar with the meaning behind imposter syndrome --- it refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. It feels even worse when you are a perfectionist like myself! Still to this day, I constantly think to myself: “Am I under qualified,” “I am way too over my head,” “I do not deserve to be here.” For the longest time, I felt like I was so alone and that I was the only Black woman who felt this way.
“For the longest time, I felt like I was so alone and that I was the only Black woman who felt this way. ”
It wasn’t until late into my college career when I began seriously networking with every music executive that I came across. I started to go out of my comfort zone and really put myself out there! I went to conferences, requested to do tours of labels, informational calls, etc. But I really wanted to focus on reaching out to Black music executives. I was always the type of college student to intern every semester. My professors taught me that too much experience is always a good thing for the music industry! But throughout all my internships, I was always the only person of color. In the beginning, I did not think this would bother me at all. But as I began working in these environments, I could tell from my co-workers and even superiors that I made them uncomfortable. This was especially true when there were conversations about racism, economics, private schools, rent prices, etc. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells. During my time interning in New York, I went to a She is the Music conference in New York City. I was invited by a close mentor of mine who works at Columbia Records. She knew how I’d been struggling with imposter syndrome and thought I could really benefit from this conference because it was showcasing all Black females in the record label business. After that event, I remember feeling like I finally had a place in the business! It was great hearing from such strong Black business owners that they felt the same way I did in their day to day life.
“After attending [She is the Music] I remember feeling like I finally had a place in the business!”
After attending the conference, I was excited for my next steps. I was excited to enter into the job force and find a job where I felt accepted and comfortable. I also wanted to create my own community to support other POCs who might not have the privilege of going to networking conferences to meet others who simply looked like them. This is where the mission behind Color of Music Collective began. I’m so proud of the community that I created for my fellow Black community and beyond. Now I will never stop speaking up; young Black music entrepreneurs are going to help shift the inclusivity of the music industry. It is up to us to foster them, and we will have the privilege of seeing them grow.
Please follow along on our journey!
~ Mia Van Allen, COMC Founder